'Remember when I said you'd stay captain... I lied'

Is Arsene Wenger sounding more like Arnold Schwarzenegger each day? I’ve heard the question mentioned a few times in the recent past and I’m slowly but surely giving it some credence. Perhaps this whole professorial image of his is burdening Wenger.

Maybe teams see him, and by extension his team, as a bunch of chin stroking softies. Perhaps he’s actually been toughened up by the bad times that haven’t seen an open top bus tour of North London in three years? Or maybe it’s just how men of a certain age from central Europe sound when speaking English.

Once again Wenger is facing into the prospect of heavy criticism as his Arsenal side – apparently tearing apart at the seams – face Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on Sunday. I’m sure he wishes Frank Lampard’s sending off midweek meant he missed this game because, as much as we dislike Fat Frank here at ODF, he is a pretty damn decent player, not to mention a fantasy league goldmine. On the subject of which don’t you hate cheering on players you’d otherwise hope had their legs broken so that they can get you a few bonus points in your work league? A sad existence really, but then it’s the life that the majority of us lead.

Anyway, prediction one… 2-1 Chelsea to lay on more hurt for Arsene’s girly men.

Prediction two, and it will most likely come back to haunt me, is that Man City will beat United for the third time on the trot in the league for the first time in 50 years. Elsewhere…

Aston Villa v Fulham: I think this has nil-all written all over it. But then my instincts are balls so what the fuck – 3-2 with at least one missed penalty and something like this happening midway through the first half.

Middlesbrough v Newcastle: JFK celebrates his contract with a draw I’d say – 2-2.

Stoke v Hull: Hull are getting their shit back on track and I’d say they will grab the three points here. 1-2.

Sunderland v Bolton: Surely a home win – Sunderland have created loads of chances in their last two home games and have been shafted by a combination of luck going against them and having fools like Diouf or Ferdinand in their side. Keane still has to explain all his odd signings in the fullness of time but he should get the win here.

Wigan v West Brom: Wigan actually played quite well against Everton and that did help as I started watching that game with verrrrrry low expectations. Everton were shite. Again. Anyway… a surprise of sorts with a 1-1 draw.

Sunday, 30 November

Portsmouth v Blackburn: Pompey might suffer in the comedown from the game against Milan and play poorly here. Maybe some light at the end of the tunnel for Ince at last, 1-2.

Tottenham v Everton: See aforementioned ‘Everton/shite’ comment above. 2-0

Monday, 1 December

Liverpool v West Ham: No Torres, no form… but I’m just too optimistic for my own good. Keane hat trick – 3-0. Well maybe no a Keane hat trick but I’ll stick with the score.

Later, JJ