Chelsea v Unireh…

Alright folks,

There may be other fixtures this weekend, and there may be plenty of other issues up and down the league but when I sat down to do a predictions blog for this Saturday, Sunday and Monday three words stopped me in my tracks. ‘Fat Sam’ and ‘Lawrenson’.

Scanning through a fixture list that looks odds on for a few one-alls, the odd thrashing and Phil Brown losing his job once James Beattie scores for Stoke I thought it best to leap over the Lawro-isms and get on to the big business of the league’s top two sides battering each other on Sunday afternoon. (Also, trying to predict a Liverpool game is too weighty on the soul at the minute).

Just the word ‘Blackburn’ turns my stomach now, with images conjured of the ugly, bullshitting, bad tempered, mildly disfigured koala that is Sam Allardyce picking yet another needless fight in his press conferences, alongside the similarly horrific-to-look-at football they play. Let’s just say I hope they get beaten heavily by Pompey and that Sam ends up in the lower leagues ASAP.



Not that the Chelsea and United always play beautiful football of course. Both of these sides can get hugely robotic when they want to and, in both cases when confronted by other big sides (both with Barcelona last season for instance) they can be as quick as an elderly Italian manager who shall remain nameless to revert to a safety-first game. There is however, something brilliantly compelling whenever these two meet. Well except for that dead rubber league game involving Chris Eagles a few years back.

The Champions League final of two seasons ago is a perfect example and, mainly due to the concentration on John Terry’s wonderfully poetic penalty miss, it’s a game that is often overlooked as one of the best ‘major’ matches of the decade. Finals, semi finals and huge clashes between big sides are often woeful affairs.

I’d put that game alongside Barcelona’s three-all (Messi hat trick included) against Madrid a few seasons back, Italy and Germany’s immense World Cup semi final in 2006, Istanbul in 2005 and a few more as one of the most complete games of the decade but unfortunately not even Didier Drogba’s stupid sending off is remembered as “Terry’s Tears TM” dominate any flashbacks.

Chelsea, the home side on Sunday, have to be favourites due to Rio Ferdinand’s injury problems and United’s shambolic defensive display on Tuesday. Add in an in-form Drogba, the excellent Anelka, and the ever reliable Laaaaaaaaaamps and they should score a goal or two, though considering their problems at set pieces Vidic may well score as many as Drogba come Sunday.

Carlo Ancelloti has a 100% record at home in the league, and the last two times he’s locked horns with Ferguson he’s won out over two Champions League legs in ’05 (with a little help from Roy Carroll closing his eyes in case a Pirlo shot hit him in the face) and handsomely in ’07, winning the second leg three-nothing at home having been very unlucky to lose to a last minute Rooney goal in England the week before.



For United, considering everyone else has been calling time on the careers of various players so far this season (Carragher, Ferdinand, King) I’m going out on a limb to say Paul Scholes will never make a difference for United in a big game again. Yeah, yeah he scored on Tuesday and bedazzles Stoke and West Ham whenever he plays them but in this type of game I think he’ll be lost in the slipstream of Chelsea’s midfield with possibly his only hope being Deco to start, so that the ginger nut won’t be the only once great, now not quite great midfielder who can’t tackle on show.

Now while all this should be the cue for Scholes to score twice, set up another and solve a murder mystery during Sunday’s game I’m sticking to my guns. I’m going for United’s midfield to get their arses handed to them even more effectively than Lucas and Mascherano did a few weeks back and the home side to win 3-1.

Enjoy the weekend folks, JJ, ODF

Solace in the random

Alright folks,

It does seem a long, long time ago since Lucas was in that happy place I referred to in my previous post. First up, and before I get on to my main point, last night, as I watched Liverpool meander towards a draw when they should have won, I tried to think when I last had such little confidence in a player as I do in Andriy Voronin.

From the way Monster Masch shouted consistently at the oddly-haired Ukrainian I doubt there’s many men who turn up for training each day at Melwood who have any confidence in him either.

A free transfer okay, but the club still has to pay his wages and after who knows how many thousands into his bank account this week and the past few years as well, the best thing about him is that he looks like a vaguely sound bouncer at a metal bar. In fact, himself and Sotiris Kyrgiakos – so very much at fault for the Lyon goal – could easily prop up their wages turning away underage Amon Armarth fans from somewhere called ‘The Rusty Hole’, ‘The Full Metal Whack It’ or something similarly woeful.

In plenty of pages today you’ll find run downs on Liverpool’s faults so I won’t go over them here – indeed I’m becoming aware that due to the less regular nature of the blog this season far too many of the posts have concerned the team I support. So I’ll move to the opposite end of the field last night.

While it’s horrible to admit this less than two weeks before Ireland play off for a place in the World Cup with France, Lyon and fellow countrymen Bordeaux, are proving that there’s life outside of La Liga and the Premier League yet, with Marseille challenging Madrid and Milan in their group as well, French football is on a high. Stuttgart’s showing against Sevilla was also a good kick in the nads for the Champions League.

Even the strength of Meeeelan (copyright James Richardson) against Real Madrid was a another boost for those that think this may be a good year in the Champo Leaguo. A peculiar semi final line up (ie only one English side included) could be in order and frankly, it’s what the competition needs.

Tuesday at the San Siro was hardly David against a hairy Russian boxer but it was a big confirmation of a return to form for one of Europe’s great leagues. With Pool all but gone from the competition, as a (soon to be) neutral the more newbies and odd names that stay in the competition the better.

Back soon folks, have a good one,
JJ, ODF

Lucas in his happy place … and welcome to crisisville Man City

Alright folks,

Well at least The Apprentice is on this evening as, after a heroic amount of Smithwicks yesterday, I’m good for nothing other than ordering pizzas and flicking channels. What will the Breffmeister get up to this week eh?

Back to the football and beyond the Pool game – as most of the papers have dissected that thoroughly and I feel the pictures above and below sum up my reaction to the win for the home side – both Arsenal and Man City lost two goal leads yesterday and both are lucky their capitulations have been relegated to minor reports in today’s sports pages. However, while the Gooners can count themselves a tad unlucky, City’s expensively assembled defence continue to look very ropey and should be a huge concern to Mark Hughes.

There’s the outrageously overrated Joleon Joleon Joleon Joleeeeonnnnnnnnnn Lescott, the formerly outrageously overrated Micah Richards, alongside the distinctly average pair of Wayne Bridge and Kolo Toure; the more you see of them together, the more they don’t look like a defence that will help them into the top four.

They’ve now gone seven games without a clean sheet and surely the leadership of Richard Dunne, so brilliant in the past few years for City and continually excellent for Ireland, would have made a difference yesterday and indeed as the season moves onwards. Playing for two managers with absolute faith in him – Martin O’Neill and Giovanni Trapattoni – Dunne has excelled.

There was the suspicion that it was the owners of City rather than Hughes that wanted to usurp Dunne with Lescott; trading an established international centre back for a player who struggled whenever Everton went into Europe and who was a cause for alarm any time he touched the ball in most England appearances. Like Beckham-era Real Madrid, Louis van Gaal’s Barca and other teams have proven in the past, sides that spend money almost exclusively on banner names, with little thought to knitting a side together, tend to win precisely feck all as the season wares on.

As Pool’s season gets in to gear (he said with fingers crossed), as Chelsea kick back into action, United get a wake up call and Arsenal, well continue to be Arsenal, City may find themselves a few more dropped points away from being the new crisis club in the league.

Right, where’s that pizza menu….

Later, JJ

Quick prediction for today…

Good god it’s hard to be positive for any Pool fan after the last few weeks but there’s something about this that reminds me of an eight game spell without a win before heading to the Theatre of Prawns and winning one nil earlier this decade.

It was a Danny Murphy lob that, what with fate being an absolute bastard, kept Gerard Houllier in a job for two seasons longer than was necessary.

The losing may stop today again, winning though… a bridge too far perhaps and I’d still stick with Benitez no matter what the result is today anyway. I’ll go for an entertaining 2-2… and Michael Owen will score. He will celebrate. And he is, as today will confirm, Satan in Sports Casual.

Enjoy, JJ

Danger Here? Maybe not…

France it is then, full blog later but initial thoughts are that we can beat them over two legs – I can see Ireland scoring once in Paris against a suspect defence but the home leg will be huge, need a win there.

At the very least it means we get to hear Johnny Giles' unique pronunciation of 'Henry' (“we need to watch Enrae Bill”) a lot over the coming weeks…

Later, JJ

Who’s it to be?

The ridiculously cool Rooskies?



The pikey Portugeezers?



The jammy git Grecians (sic)



Or Raymond the mentalist and his band of moody men….

Bring on 1pm.

Saturday predictions…

Hey folks,

Right, after that minor rant on the ridiculous notion of the Atlantic League here’s a quick few predictions for Saturday’s Premier League games…

Aston Villa v Chelsea: Hmmm, Villa have been somewhat of a bogey team for Chelsea – the defeat that sent Mourinho pretty much on his way a few seasons ago, a few nil-all draws, one four-all draw - and coming after an international break I think Martin O’Neill’s side may have a chance here, especially with the game taking place in Birmingham. I’d say Chelsea will only get one goal so I’ll go for 1-1.

Arsenal v Birmingham: See the Blackburn game a few weeks back for reference. 3-0.

Everton v Wolves: The slow start is out of the way for Everton but Wolves are an absolute bastard to predict thus far. Every time I think it’s an easy ‘Wolves to get an absolute belting here’ they seem to eek out a point or three. I have a feeling this time they may just do some damage as well and I’ll go for 2-2 with a late equaliser from the away side. Cue 4-1 Everton.

Man Utd v Bolton: No Rooney but Berbatov did get a hat trick during the week… then again that was a hat trick in a meaningless game and the great criticism of him at United thus far is not getting important, game-breaking goals, as opposed to the fourth of five against Spurs, Wigan etc. I’d expect United to get all three points whoever scores though as Bolton won’t get a goal. Easy enough 2-0.

Portsmouth v Tottenham: ‘Arry’s back innit. I’ve just stuck Jermaine Defoe in my fantasy league team so I’m hoping he does to the Pompey defence what he’s done to so many Zoo cover girls over the years and pillages and plunders to his heart’s content. Portsmouth had the great misfortune to get that one win away at Wolves just before the international break and may have lost all the momentum that result could have given them in the weeks since. I’ll say 1-3.

Stoke City v West Ham: West Ham have to click into gear at some stage this season – and if they had of beaten Liverpool last month I suspect that would have started them off on a decent run. They might just dent Stoke’s home record come Saturday. 0-1.

Sunderland v Liverpool: The heart says away win, the injury sheet says a draw. No Torres, no Gerrard… but then again Pool did beat United last season without the pair as well (except for a ten minute cameo from Gerrard). That however, wasn’t in a week where Lucas and Mascherano flew all around the world, only arriving back on the day before the game. I could actually see Aurelio starting in midfield and I can also see Benayoun being the fulcrum of play. Fuck it, I’ll be confident… 1-2.

Have a good one, JJ