Magic Beans

Fabio Capello talking about the Italian psyche in 2006: “We’re convinced we know more than the next guy.”

Okay, it might be a little cruel but I couldn’t help but think of this quote when I looked at this picture of oul’ Fabio and Stuart Pearce having a chinwag about the England players. True enough, he does preface this with the words, “We Italians are over critical and arrogant, all of us”, but still you’d have to wonder how much of what ‘Psycho’ is telling him really hit home with Fabio?

This is a man with a startling managerial record talking to a fella who managed one of, if not the, most boring Premier League side ever not to get relegated. Last season’s Manchester City were a disgrace to football, and while Pearce’s stock rose somewhat after the U-21 European Championships in Holland last summer, no one really believes he’s a top class coach. Certainly not in the Italian mould of great thinkers anyway.

Capello apparently is still searching for an Englishman to compliment his backroom staff but that search may prove as difficult as the grand charade that is the hunt for a new Irish manager. Think of an Englishman with tactical nous (god I hate that phrase but alas, it fits). Anyone leap forward? If this was ten years ago the unfortunate truth is the choice would most likely have been Howard Wilkinson; in Sven’s wisdom he hired Steve McClaren and Sammy Lee. Therefore finding a suitable man for this role has never been, and will never be, an easy choice.

My candidate, should Capello really want someone English-born to run ideas by, is the man he beat to the job – Harry Redknapp. An Englishman who understands good football, loves talking tactics and from an early age (check out The Times podcast interview with him from a few weeks back) has understood how out-thinking an opponent is worth as much as pace or power.

While I doubt Redknapp would take the job, I’d still see him as the outstanding candidate so it’s back over to Capello and his background staff to persuade the Portsmouth manager or someone of similar knowledge (though I can’t think of anyone) to get on board.

The phrase ‘slim pickings’ defines the search for the Ireland manager at present, or at least in those linked with the post in the press. The same names recycled again and again. Today the Irish Independent led with Gerard Houllier as the choice of the three man committee of Don Howe, Roy Houghton and Don Givens. Last Wednesday it was Kenny Dalglish. Mick McCarthy has even had to rule himself out. At this stage, the committee have been in business for several weeks and the question has to be asked – who exactly have they talked to?

Terry Venables confirmed last week that he’s had no approach. Graeme Souness too has ruled himself out due to no approach (in fact he thought the job had been given to Venables… surely something that could have been cleared up with Houghton during the ad breaks on The Premiership’s Saturday night show on RTE?). So who have they been speaking to? Howard Kendall?

We now know that it will be up to FAI president John Delaney and another blazer to negotiate Ireland’s fixture list for the World Cup qualifiers at a meeting on 16 January. It’s a dark thought and the image of Delaney coming back to Abbottstown with a bag of magic beans and 10 away ties continues to crop up every now and then.

Capello’s search is certainly the easier one here as he’s really only making a conciliatory move to appease the FA and the English media who still, quite unbelievably, question his credentials to manage a side going nowhere. Ireland’s three men committee you’d suspect are merely seeing how many hotel lunches they can get on the FAI cheque book before anyone actually asks what they’re up too.

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The Carling Cup semi finals began last night. They continue tonight. End report.

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Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Cheers - JJ

More Money Than Sense

Well, the transfer window has rolled down to let some hot air out once more. It's amazing to me how the people with their fingers round the purse strings release frivolous amounts of money to managers who they will sack in a few months time.

I can imagine that Al Fayed is pretty pissed off right now (not to mention Chris Coleman). For an outlay of about £25m on transfers in the summer, including £6m for Diomansy Kamara, Lawrie Sanchez left them second bottom of the table, and got a nice payoff for being sacked.
We went through some possible transfers on last week's podcast and while doing some research for this week's show, I came across some further examples of managerial genius.

Roy Keane has vowed not to pay over the odds for player, in direct opposition to his policy last summer when he spunked over £30m on generally average players, such as Chopra for £6m. Leroy Lita (1 goal this season) is expected to join shortly.

After Sven's excellent £40m spree last summer, we expected more top quality is on the way, but not according to reports - Manchester City have had an enquiry rejected by Marseille for 'striker' Djibril Cisse. I would have thought their squad was complete with strikers who don't score any goals - they already have Samaras and Vassell, while Bianchi has hardly set the world alight. Lyon's talentless, Brazilian, no hoper Fred, is also heavily rumoured to join, about whom only one thing needs to be said - Gerard Houllier thought he was worth £10m.

Alan Curbishley and West Ham are so far keeping a low profile - with good reason too. Last summer, despite a good recoup in player sales, good oul Curbs managed to waste money on Bellamy (injured), Dyer (injured), Ljungberg (injured) and Flaubert (injured) so I would imagine the Icelandic bosses aren't too keen for another dip into the market with the Boring One at the helm. My bet for the latest washed up, injury prone player to make his way there? I'll have a punt on Mickey Owen....

At Birmingham, you'd imagine things would be better now that Bruce has left, but McLeish seems intent in following his predecessor - another talentless Lyon player, Milan Baros could be on the way to provide the, ahem, firepower up front, along with Georgios Samaras.

And at Villa, despite O'Neill's generally good transfer record, they want to add a 'prolific goalscorer' to the squad - what, Harewood and Carew can't do it? Serial under-achiever Jermain Defoe could be on his way....

And Newcastle, I won't even get started on the catalog of transfer disasters that have befallen on the club, while another basket case, Spurs want Tal Ben Haim for £8m, and Tiago for £9m. It's no fun to blame Ramos or Jol though, mysterious fool Damien Comolli is the man who also thought Kevin-Prince Boateng was a good bet.

So, in a roundabout way, that's the transfer gossip, my hatred of having to write anything to do with the Carling Cup led me here....

Mark,
Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Classic Colombia and the Rocky Horror Show

Seeing as how romance has been the theme of this weekend’s football – along with heart, grit, giant-killing and pretty much every quality in football aside from skill and technique – I thought I’d draw attention to a video that deserves plenty of views.

For those who didn’t catch it on the Guardian’s website this week, this is a brilliant ten minutes detailing Colombia’s 5-0 World Cup qualifier victory in Buenos Aires back in 1993. They beat an Argentina side that still had many faces from the team that reached the World Cup final of 1990, not to mention some of the biggest rising stars in World football at the time.

Whatever their squad though, Argentina were perennial favourites against the Colombians. Despite the fact that they had similar populations, Buenos Aires’ heavy British influence of the late 19th and early 20th century resulted in a country obsessed with the game. Colombia were always minor players in South America. Indeed, they only entered qualification rounds for the World Cup from 1958 onwards, while Argentina had a record that stretched back to their 4-2 defeat against Uruguay in the inaugural final of 1930.

But, as many of you might be thinking, history smishtory. This was a game between two of the glamour sides of the early ‘90s. The insane brilliance of Asprilla, Rincon and Valderrama against the guile of Batistuta, Redondo and Ortega. Beats an Andy Townsend versus Paul Ince midfield battle any day.

It was the scoreline rather than merely the victory that made the headlines across the globe. At last Colombia were associated with a major story in this part of the world that didn’t have anything to do with cocaine or kidnapping. Of course we all know what came next, from Pele’s prediction they’d win it all at USA ’94 through to the disastrous opening defeats and of course Andreas Escobar’s grisly end outside a nightclub.

Whatever the aftermath though, this is still remembered in Colombia as their finest moment. For us it’s Ray Houghton against Italy in the Giants Stadium (or perhaps any of Bonner v Romania; Houghton v England; or Keane hat trick v Faroe Islands… well maybe not the last one). For Northern Ireland it’s Gerry Armstrong against Spain in 1982. But frankly, this was a 5-0 win with style against a dirty Argentinean side in their own backyard with Maradona looking on in amazement. Therefore, it plain beats the shit out of anything we’ve ever done. Viva Colombia indeed Carlos.

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As for the FA Cup, I avoided the results on Saturday and managed to quite enjoy Match of the Day. Coventry’s win over Blackburn and Everton’s defeat at home to Oldham were obvious highlights. The fact that a guy called Rocky delivered a last second knock out blow was also most welcome.

Liverpool, as anyone with eyes will tell you, were absolutely atrocious yesterday. I vented my disgust at Dirk Kuyt over at Mal’s blog earlier so I won’t go over it again. Fair play to Luton though. Crap town (and yes I have been there so it’s not just random nastiness here) but great fans and they fully deserve the replay. Anyone who can remember the classic 3-2 win over Arsenal in 1988 will always have a bit of soft spot for them anyway.

Okay, before I get washed away in a sea of nostalgia, I shall sign off.

Later, JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

ODF 04 Jan Podcast Online

Hi All,

Our latest podcast is online now.

We discuss:

Results & Fixtures: Premiership & FA Cup

Pub Talk: Barton, Wise, SWP, Ashley vs Robson, Paul Sturrock, Cassano and Amauri

Featured Section: Transfer Rumours - we sort out what could happen


We hope you enjoy the show.

Download it: http://media.libsyn.com/media/okeydokefootball/odf04Jan08.mp3

Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Cheers,

Mark

Totaalvoetbal, Bloody Divots

Try as I might, the sight of one particular goal still turns my stomach every time I see it. You can watch it here after about two minutes of nostalgia and The Pogues. It’s a simple looping header from Wim Kieft at Euro ‘88, one with a wicked bounce, as well as another Dutchman standing in an offside position out of shot.

But it’s not the injustice of the linesman's decision – after all Alan McLoughlin was standing three yards offside when Kevin Sheedy blasted home against England at Italia ’90 – instead it’s just the sickening amount of time it takes to go in. Ireland slowly but surely seeing a semi final berth slip out of their grasp.

The flight of the ball barely makes sense, some odd divot is hit and football history follows. How many times have you seen Marco Van Basten’s volley in the final? At least a hundred if you’ve even a passing interest in football, near a thousand if you happen to actually like the game. No divot, no volley, no Marco Goalo volley of the century.

Kieft’s goal disgusts me to this day. I can’t help it.

The path of Dutch football rarely makes sense, be it to do with divots, lunch time seating arrangements or even the sheer oddity that is Dirk Kuyt. Therefore, Ireland’s exit at Euro ’88 to that goal should just be chalked down as another oddball moment in the history of a nation that’s usually too busy rowing to win tournaments; despite the fact that they’re often technically the best side on show.

There was a book released a few years ago by football writer David Winner, entitled Brilliant Orange: The Neurotic Genius of Dutch Football, which I picked up again recently. When I say ‘recently’, I mean out of a desperate attempt to do anything with Christmas other than drink, eat, eat, eat, drink… oh, and avoid generally awful Christmas TV (I include nearly every live Premier League game over the festive period in that too – cheers Sky for not showing Chelsea v Villa).

It did the trick. When you see a chapter on how the ‘Provos’ changed football you generally associate it with terrace violence in Northern Ireland’s top flight in the late seventies. However, in Winner’s book he’s referring to a 1960s group of Dutch anti-establishment protestors. Their tactics for social reform basically revolved around annoying the police with clever non-violent protests and pranks to such a point that the only logical conclusion was that they would end up getting a good kicking. Public support and press headlines followed.

The book itself is about the “idea of Dutch football” rather than the Dutch national side or even their club teams. The spirit of total football, so goes the argument, comes in part from inspiration such as the Provos, who managed to free themselves from the post-war conservatism of their home country. It’s not just them though; it’s their architects, painters, anarchists and the petty differences of the middle classes that make up the nature of Dutch football.

National identity it seems, dictates the national style of football. Does the argument stand up when you take a look at other nations? Seeing the almost drunken fashion in which the FAI have gone about stumbling from one failed conquest to another in the ‘race’ for Ireland manager, our administrators certainly resemble some of our fine nation on a Saturday night out. But actual footballing style?

The grinding nature of the Charlton era matched some very hard financial times; much like the flair players of the ultimately unsuccessful ‘70s side resembled the ramshackle trad music bands that delighted home crowds but often struggled abroad when it came to making the big breakthrough. Now we’re a nation who relies on foreign workers to prop up the workforce; should a decent continental coach get the job he will sit well with our mercenary friendly attitudes.

England’s style of play? Is there one? If there is, it resembles their white van man fan-base (try saying that ten times in a row) rather than the country as a whole - not subtle and can be accused of being brainless at times. Perhaps instead of protesting Provos, Fabio, Capello could look to Have I Got News for You for how to handle genuine talent in a large, often misguided organisation. Joe Cole as England’s Paul Merton? Privately educated Lamps as Ian Hislop? Owen Hargreaves as the anchor? It could work. It won’t, but it could.

Then there’s Spain; where Civil War pretty much defines their current squad and any in living memory. There’s also the slow method of carrying out their day (how many meals and breaks do they have anyway) that matches the patient build up of their football sides.

There’s gotta be some decent masters degree in the whole subject – after all if they can give college lectures on the science of superheroes then national football identities should have some of Mensa’s finest working on this topic.

Winner’s tale of the Dutch is a great read anyway… though I still wish that Kieft’s header had bounced harmlessly wide.
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Anyhoo, had to write on something other than the Premier League above as we have been battered over the head with it over Christmas. But much like Sam Allardyce’s wife (ref: Okeydoke Football’s entirely non-libelous Awards Show) we’re back for more so give us your best shot!

Tonight we’re podcasting and discussing the events of the Christmas period (winners: Chelsea, Arsenal; losers: Liverpool, Derby, and Newcastle). We’ll also have Pub Talk and comments.

Until then, belated Happy New Year, JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Okey Doke Football End Of Year Awards

Hi All,

Our last podcast of the year is online now and it's awards time!

Best & Worst Premiership Player
Best & Worst Premiership Transfer so far this season - 1. Value for Money 2. Overall
Most Liked & Most Hated Player
Best & Worst Goal
Best & Worst Match
Hopes for the new year
Best & Worst Moment
Man of the Year

And more... including Premier League Manager Most Likely to Beat His Wife, Drink of the Year, and John Terry makes a surprise appearance in Seinfeld

We hope you enjoy the show, thanks for your support over the year and we'll see you in 2008

Download it: http://media.libsyn.com/media/okeydokefootball/odf28Dec07.mp3
Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Cheers,
Mark & JJ

ODF 20 Dec Podcast Online

Hi All,
Our latest podcast is online now.
We discuss:

Fixtures & Results: Premiership & Carling Cup

Pub Talk: Footballer's Christmas parties - Man Utd, and more. Sol Campbell, Kaka, Bangura Watch, Jewell, Ballack.

AOB: We finish the show with some comments

Don't forget to email us with thoughts for our end of year show - best player, most hated, etc. and anything that has struck you in football this year - comments@okeydokefootball.com

We hope you enjoy the show.
Download it: http://media.libsyn.com/media/okeydokefootball/odf20Dec07.mp3
Subscribe: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Cheers,
Mark