Thursday, 17 January 2008

Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview

I once met a Geordie with the Newcastle crest tattooed on the top of his bald head and the Newcastle Brown Ale star on the back of his noggin to boot. To put his general state of mind in perspective, I only found out this information after he walked into the pub I was working in and took off his sombrero. His name was Kev. Anyway Kev liked to drink and I couldn’t understand a word he said. Leading me to ask his children to translate his conversational points; with the general response being ‘eh he’d like another beer please’. All in all though, a decent fella.

I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.

Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.

Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.

Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.

The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.

Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)


Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…

Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance

I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.

Later - JJ

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1 comment:

Mark said...

week 4 - hate shearer or die hard