El Diego and some predictions

Maradona eh… okay those with any kind of sense about them, and certainly anyone who has looked at the guy’s management record will think his appointment as the new Argentina manager is as insane as he is. Once a god, then a coked-up crazy man, only to be resurrected then fecked out on his ear at USA ’94. Since then he’s been bloated, befriended Castro and hosted his own TV show.

Take all this into account and at least we know he won’t be boring. Every Argentine player who had problems with the previous two regimes (I’m looking at you Riquelme) will be understandably excited by his presence. Messi, Mascherano, Tevez and Aguero have all said he’s a father figure to them, and in the latter’s case he’s about to father Maradona’s grandchild, the dirty divil.

All of this leads to one inevitable conclusion. Those of us in Ireland who’ve watched Fabio Capello – one of the most distinguished coaches in the game – take England from a shambolic outfit to a slightly luckier and, okay I’ll admit it, sometimes excellent side can rejoice. It is written in the stars people…

World Cup, Australia (because South Africa haven’t fucked it up yet, but they soon will) 2010…

Quarter finals…

England v Argies…

Did someone say penalties?

The rest takes care of itself really. Roll on 2010!

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Some quick predictions for the weekend…

Chelsea v Sunderland: Maybe nil all ‘til half time but Chelski to continue where they left off at Hull and hack their way through a weaker side. “There’s a work ethic there Bill,” says Johnny. 3-0 again.
Everton v Fulham: Buoyed by a midweek win and that dude Felliani’s magnificent afro, this may be an unhappy return for Andy Johnson. 2-o.
Man Utd v Hull: Another routine 2-0. Jesus I hate United and their routine 2-0 wins.
Middlesbrough v West Ham: Wee Gianfranco is under the cosh. Considering at his size most Hammers fans could eat him whole I don’t think he’ll be long for this league. I hope I’m wrong but I’d say it’ll be another defeat, five on the spin and Zola out banners galore next week. 1-0
Portsmouth v Wigan: Meh… I hate Steve Bruce too, always have. 3-0.
Stoke v Arsenal: Ah the Arse, gotta love their unpredictable leaps from genius to a bunch of crackpots in a split second. They’ll nick this one though 1-2.
Tottenham v Liverpool: This would have been a nailed on draw had Arsenal clung on against Spurs earlier in the week. But now they may got cocky (there was a DVD of the Arse game on their website ten hours after the match) and still can’t defend for shite. With Gomes in goal and Torres expected back I’ll go for 1-3.
West Brom v Blackburn: The big one… or not. Blackburn were unlucky against Villa, they’ll get a draw here. 1-1.

Sunday
Bolton v Man City: Hmmm… all of a sudden a movie on Sunday afternoon looks like the right option. 1-2.

Monday
Newcastle v Aston Villa: The revolution continues, shit on the Villa indeed. 2-1. Go JFK!

Later, JJ

Back on the horse...

Been a long time since we rock n’ rolled… dear god after that hackneyed intro I can only hope it gets better. The last few weeks have seen some earth shattering events take place in the football world; men such as Giovanni Trappatoni, Andy Reid, Xabi Alonso and ‘Arry Redknapp have all tried, and I suppose in some ways succeeded, in knocking the demise of the ODF podcast off the back pages.

Onwards we march anyway, and we’ll start that with predictions for this evening’s games.

Arsenal v Tottenham Hotspur: Spurs are bound to take the lead here; such is the wave of optimism flowing through the club after Redknapp’s arrival. However, they are also bound to lose 3-1 such is the dearth of defending talent at White Hart Lane, particularly from goalkeeper Gomes. Expect Arsenal to shoot from all angles at the bumbling Brazilian with plenty of joy.

Aston Villa v Blackburn Rovers: James Richardson has already ploughed the ‘Norwegian Wood’ analogy on the John Carew lap dancing expose so I’ll just talk about the game. Villa, despite all the voodoo curses I could muster, are doing rather well this year what with an all conquering attack and disgustingly mean defence. Rovers on the other hand look like a bit of a shambles most of the time. An organised but still hateful Villa to win 2-1.

Bolton Wanderers v Everton: Phew… bet all Everton fans are delighted David Moyes signed that contract at last eh? Oh. Out of Europe, looking like they’re out of ideas most the time, they haven’t been much cop at home or away this season and after Bolton got a bit of a raw deal on Sunday I can’t see the home side them losing this anyway. Most likely a poor 0-0.

Fulham v Wigan Athletic: This could be a barnstormer; Jimmy Bullard has got a bit of a kick up the arse from Roy Hodgson this week and this should lead to a decent performance from the outrageously popular Cockney. In turn, Fulham generally play well when Bullard does, and combining that with Wigan’s decent brand of football this season, it should be a good game. Narrow home win – 3-2.

Hull City v Chelsea: Chelsea won 4-0 at Hull last year in the League Cup. I’ll go for three nil this time around.

Liverpool v Portsmouth: The mood from most Liverpool players has seemed almost depressed in recent days such is their desire to calm expectations after the excellent win at Stamford Bridge. Feckin right too considering Liverpool’s tendency over the last 15 years to follow every decent result with a dire loss or awful home draw. With Portsmouth in a bit of a crisis (and they conceded plenty of goals under ‘Arry this year as well), Pool should, I repeat should, win this. 2-0.

Manchester United v West Ham United: The Zola Effect (a sunnier, slightly more likeable version of the patented ‘Redknapp Effect’ talked about by all ‘Arry’s friends in the media in the last few days) seems to be waning quite badly at West Ham and the little Italian is now one of the favourites to be the next Premier League manager to get the boot. The last thing Zola needed was Everton to rally for a draw last Saturday lunchtime and much like Chelsea at Hull I think United will unleash all manner of hell on the back of a disappointing result. A thumping home victory – 3-0.

Middlesbrough v Manchester City: Hmmm… Boro were very unlucky to draw with Blackburn but they have some pretty noticeable flaws that a decent attacking side like City should expose. Much like when Mark Hughes men went to Sunderland and blew them away, I can see Robinho et al taking advantage of a dodgy keeper and average defence. 0-2.

Stoke City v Sunderland: Let us never speak of this game again. 1-1

Come back tomorrow for all manner of heckling when a Crouchigol overhead consigns the ‘Pool to defeat.

Later folks, JJ

ODF 04 Oct Podcast Online

Hi All,
out latest podcast is online now.

We discuss:
Champions League Results and the upcoming Premier League fixtures
Pub Talk - the news of the week
And we finish with a surprise

Download it or Subscribe to the feed

Mark & JJ

What the... Joe Kinnear and Weekend Predictions

Today’s blog was due to start with a damning indictment of David O’Leary possibly being offered the Newcastle job but now with the shear shock of Joe Kinnear’s appointment I don’t think I can talk any more about the mess at Newcastle. At this stage I hope they’re relegated, though hopefully Alan Shearer will be in charge by then.

With the pack of jokers from Sid James’ Park in mind we’ll start the weekend predictions with…

Newcastle v Blackburn: “I’m sick of talking about them, but maybe, just maybe, they’ve reached their nadir and will put up a decent fight against Paul Ince’s men. I’ll go for a hard fought, ultimately wretched to watch 1-1.” That was my original sentiment about an hour ago… now I’ll go for 1-3 Blackburn.
Arsenal v Hull: Super fun happy time for Arsenal. Hull actually try and play football which will be their downfall so let’s just hope they enjoy the day out. 4-1. The one for Hull coming late on to ruin Bacary Sagna’s clean sheet and dent my Fantasy League hopes. Born pessimist folks.
Aston Villa v Sunderland: Interesting, very interesting. Last year Sunderland got their first away win of the season at Villa Park, and both teams claim at least to have improved since then. Coming off defeat to QPR at home I think Villa might struggle as they didn’t play particularly well for large parts of last week’s game against West Brom either. I fancy Sunderland, with Keane’s strong words during the week still ringing in their ears to get a result. 1-2.
Everton v Liverpool: I always wonder if this is a decent game for neutrals? I can’t think so as even I get bored most times by the often woeful showings these sides produce. I think it’s a game Liverpool need after the dire, dire, dire, dire performance against Stoke and one they’ll win nervously 0-1.
Fulham v West Ham: Should be a decent one this, both sides have been really hard to call this season so far. There should be some decent football, cockney rhyming slag galore and hopefully goals involved. Think the home side will nick it though 3-2.
Man Utd v Bolton: Dreary win for the home side. 2-0.
Middlesbrough v West Brom: Could be a good match, Boro need some luck at some stage this year and with West Brom giving away stupid goals I’ll go for 2-0 with Stewart Downing missing four penalties.
Stoke v Chelsea: This is why Liverpool won’t win the league. 0-2.
Portsmouth v Tottenham: How many crisis clubs are there in this league? At least both these teams here are properly in the shit, as opposed to various talks of crisis at Liverpool, Everton, Man City and even Man United this year. There should be stricter criteria when it comes to the phrase ‘crisis club’ I feel. Anyway, I have NO IDEA what will happen here. In short, and for no real reason… 2-3
Wigan v Man City: Robinho, Jo, Wright Philips, Elano and Petrov in the side and Man City’s best player is Stephen Ireland. Why oh why did he have to go get a dodgy weave, figuratively kill his grannies and leave his country in the lurch? On a more relevant note, Wigan have been pretty sturdy thus far and I’d say they’ll get at least a draw here… but then I do hate Steve Bruce… so 0-3 Citeh.

Later folks, JJ

You’re ‘Avin a Larf Intcha!

I’m sure most of you thought it was more than a little odd to read that Newcastle are actually considering hiring Terry ‘Generic Spanish Nickname’ Venables on a temporary basis to bail them out of trouble in the Premier League. However, what seems more shocking to me is that the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

Let’s face it, from the club’s point of view he’s one of the few guys with experience in management still willing to go there. Putting it in perspective, there’s David O’Leary and Glenn Hoddle to choose from otherwise, and the players at least might still have a hint of respect for Venables… well the English guys at least (Oba Martins admitted he had no idea who Keegan was when he walked through the door so I can’t see many of the Geordies’ foreign legion knowing who the podgy Londoner is when he arrives for training).

With the choices they have in front of them the guy is most likely the best of a bad bunch and what’s more, should they gain any hint of stability in the next few months (stop sniggering) he will be more amenable to stepping aside than ego-monkeys such as Hoddle and O’Leary.

To many though he will remain the cockney geezer supreme; un-likeable, untrustworthy and at times indecipherable when speaking about defensive systems as a pundit. Perhaps a dip into the Eamonn Dunphy vault can sum up Newcastle’s plight best. Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of this superb rant on the merits, or lack thereof, of hiring the former Spurs coach. Yes Toon Army – meet you new saviour.... ye poor, poor replica-shirted fools.

Later, JJ

The Usain Bolt of ODF podcasts

Heya folks,

The new pod is online - short and sweet and possibly familiar. Mark is away, and with our hoped-for supersub gone MIA I flew solo before realising that (a) my laptop's soundcard is horrendous and (b) a solo pod just ain't my thing. So, like any great man of the people I found a compromise and have given ye a short, sharp dose of hate we recorded a while back on Lee Bowyer...

We will, at last, have a normal pod again next week - thanks for the patience but circumstances have been a backstard.

Anyway, you can download it here, or subscribe.

PS: The pic above was sent to me under the heading: 'Argentinian Special Olympics Trial'... Cruel? You decide.

Til next time folks, JJ

Apologies, predictions, Brazilian pikeys and a kick in the Scolaris

Heya folks,

Quick apology but there won’t be a podcast this week as the supersub has unfortunately had to cancel his debut appearance. I was tempted to fly solo but to be honest I think I’d be as entertaining as this soul crunching commercial.

So anyway, with no pod for the moment (the plan is to do one next Tuesday – unless I drunkenly record something over the weekend) I thought I’d give a ramble in text format rather than the usual Polish-beer induced insight myself and Mark specialise in most weeks.

I write while watching Spurs in a horrifically boring UEFA Cup game against Wislaw Krakow (though the return match should be interesting considering Wislaw fans’ fairly interesting views on World War 2) and really the north London team are a bastard to figure out. For the third time in four years they have lost three of their opening four games; they also have a side bursting with creativity but one which also lacks experience in the Premier League.

I know that most managers wish to mould their squad but Ramos has taken that to new heights with the signings of Modric; Dos Santos; Bentley and Pavlychenko. It’s as if he wanted to rip apart anything that Martin Jol had done whether good or bad and create something completely new. A noble idea but he must be confident that Daniel Levy will leave him at it (and indeed Levy’s fairly obvious jibes in director of football Damien Comolli this week indicated that there will at least be one fella leaving White Hart Lane before Ramos anyway).

I hope Spurs click because if they do there is the potential to play better football than Arsenal.

With absolutely no segway – and because I started writing about Newcastle but lost the will to carry on – here’s predictions for this weekend. Can I beat Lawro? If not, I feel I should really think about never doing predictions again and leaving it up to some mystical spider or a magic eight ball to take on the mantle.

Sunderland v Middlesbrough: Derby time and after two defeats at home Sunderland are under a bit of pressure. I think Keane has brought some absolute fools to the club this year to be honest – Cisse and Diouf being the primary examples – and I fancy a well organised Boro (who have been very unlucky on two occasions away this season losing to undeservedly to both Pool and Pompey) to take at least a point. I’ll bank on entertainment and shoddy defending to say 2-2.
Blackburn v Fulham: Paul Ince’s place in ODF history is well established. But while we don’t necessarily like the guy we certainly don’t think he’s a terrible manager. After some horrific defending in the last two games I think he’ll sort Blackburn out and they’ll beat a decent Fulham side 2-1.
Liverpool v Stoke City: Many moons ago Liverpool always followed up an important win with a terrible defeat to a lower side but I think on this occasion (unlike the many, many occasions I’ve said this before) this time it’s different. Roll on 2-2 draw with a last minute Torres equaliser then. No actually, I’ll keep the faith and go 4-1 to the Pool.
West Ham v Newcastle: Could little Franco Zola have picked a better team for a home debut? Alan Smith is out for three months so obviously that will be a big blow to Newcas… oh wait; he’s been a disaster there, just like most of their signings. 2-0.
Bolton v Arsenal: Whoopee, commentators up and down the country can talk about Arsenal being soft ‘up north’ when the stats actually saw they have a great record at Bolton and Blackburn. Gotta love ill-informed pundits. We can only hope Jeff Stelling stops Phil Thompson or whichever other gimp they have in for this before they start blabbing on about the whole sorry myth. Away win 1-3.
West Brom v Aston Villa: Meh, 1-1
Chelsea v Man Utd: Big matches are sometimes great; and sometimes pants. But this one at least allows us the opportunity to watch this again (though attempts by United to mend bridges have been admirable). In a way I hope karma kicks Chelsea in the Scolaris and Terry makes the mistake that costs Chelsea the game; but that’s a little bit small considering the talent on display. Tevez; Deco; Rooney; possibly Ronaldo and more – come on lads at least give us a decent first half before we switch over to the bog ball on RTE. At a guess, it’s got to be Chelsea due to their excellent start… in fact, I think United may get a hiding if they go down to an early goal. Screw it, 3-1.
Hull City v Everton: Probably the same story as last week, when Everton did a number on Stoke (they should have won by a lot more than one goal). Away win city – 0-2.
Man City v Portsmouth: ‘Arry versus the Sheikh; it’s like a Guy Ritchie movie with some Brazilian pikeys thrown in for good measure. City looked very, very disjointed in the UEFA Cup last night and I think they’ll do well to get a draw here against a Pompey side that seem to be many people’s second team. So what if it’s only due to the fact they have a player with the nickname The Herminator, everybody loves Portsmouth. 2-2.
Tottenham v Wigan: Back where we started… good old Spurs. The revolution starts here – 3-0.

Later, JJ