Friday, 14 August 2009

Weekend Predictions and ODF Fantasy League


It begins with the latest saviour of Stamford Bridge up against the first manager to be sacked this season (and possibly the first manager to ever get sacked during a spray tanning session) as Carlo Ancelotti’s Chelsea take on Phil Brown’s Hull.

The first weekend of the new Premier League will start in familiar fashion then – a bundle of points for Frank Lampard and talk from John Terry about the “massive, massive difference the manager’s brought here” – but for the most part this weekend is a little more difficult to call. As always, if I get above three of these rights I see this as a moral victory

Aston Villa v Wigan: Hmmm… just how big a difference will Gareth Barry’s absence make? How big a difference will Lee Cattermole’s absence make? How many more question marks before I plump for a 3-1 win to Villa? Just that one.

Blackburn v Man City: Ah… the one everyone is curious about. We talked at length about City on last week’s pod and I think this game may be a shock to the system. They drew 2-2 at Ewood Park last year and I think that result may be repeated here against an organised (ie tear-inducingly boring) Blackburn.

Bolton v Sunderland: Away win to start matters for Bruce followed by first calls to end the reign of the Ginger Mourinho (for some reason Bolton fans want Fat Sam back so there’s a good few boo boys at the Reebok these days). Gary Megson will ride out the storm and lead Bolton to 10th or 11th this season though. 1-2

Chelsea v Hull: Hull are going to get battered. I could see this going to six. I’ll be conservative and go for 5-0 though. Or 5-1 just to feck up Fantasy League points all over the world (see below).

Everton v Arsenal: Can see Arsenal surprising Everton here and winning 2-0. Beaten by Paul Ince’s Blackburn on the first day of last season, if memory serves correct they’ve tended to be slow starters in recent years. Even if that’s horribly wrong though I still fancy Arsenal to pick up the points here.

Portsmouth v Fulham: Fulham to get an away win? It’s a rare, rare day you can predict that confidently but Pompey look like a club in crisis. Paul Hart may not last the distance this season and a bad start could see him gone by November. 1-2.

Stoke v Burnley: Eh… 1-0. Functional home win for Stoke ala last season. Tough to play against, disciplined, throw on the clich├ęs but I don’t see them going down this year either.

Wolves v West Ham: It doesn’t look like Kevin Doyle will make the 90 minutes for Mick McCarthy’s side which is a blow as the rest of their strikers aren’t proven at this level (is Doyle in fairness?). West Ham were often excellent last season but Zola is bedding in a few new players and some of the younger stars who made an impression last year may get a dose of second season syn… Oh fuck I hate that phrase, they may be shite this year as opposed to decent last year. There, that’s easier. Eh… 1-1.

Tottenham v Liverpool: Spurs’ midfield was the focus of most of their problems last year (well that and Heurelho Gomes’ erratic early season form) yet there have been no reinforcements in that area. ‘Arry has made it plainly obvious that he has zero confidence in David Bentley, Tom Huddlestone along with Jermaine Jenas, while Aaron Lennon is hit and miss. Meanwhile Luka Modric has been shifted all over the place by his manager which can’t help matters either, not to mention the striker conundrum. Liverpool obviously have midfield issues of their own with Mascherano dreaming of Barcelona, Lucas needing to step up, Babel sulking on the bench, no Alonso and Gerrard starting the season with a niggling injury. Still, after an unbelievably unlucky loss to Spurs last season I’ll go with ‘Pool to take revenge and Torres to get into gear early. 1-2.

Man Utd v Birmingham: 3-0, Owen to score and Rooney to cause all manner of wild headlines by outwitting Liam Ridgewell. Satan will be happy.


Elsewhere, while the mental torture that Fantasy Football so often brings to our lives may well have been perfectly described by both Barry Glendenning and Tom Humphries recently, what else are you going to do with all those hours you’re pretending to work over the course of the season? Actual work? Of course not.

Join the ODF league using the details below and have a season decrying teams who get ‘consolation goals’ against your defenders, fretting over whether Danny Shittu makes it into Bolton’s first eleven and petitioning the FA’s dubious goals committee in favour of a deflected Frank Lampard strike for the sake of 10 points.

Get on board…

The details: Register here and then once you have logged in and entered your team, click on the 'Leagues' link on the right hand side of the page. Enter this code - 37329-128664 - to join the ODF league and if ye have any problems joining up just send on an email to

Til the next time, vote Clay Davis partner!


soupnazi said...

Say what you like about Berbatov...lazy, languid, louche, laid-back...basically all the l's, but he was ok as Archie in "Rock'n'Rolla".

soupnazi said...

Oh and listening to Lawro tonight kept expecting him to say "I don't really know Rita" (in the voice of Mavis out of Corrie Street a lifetime ago.. sorry, the shame the shame).

JJ said...

Berbatov being tapped up by Ron Atkinson for the next series of celebrity wife swap?????

Parrotbait said...

Wow the predictions from last week were good.......!!