Wednesday, 5 December 2007

Not lovin’ it

Why is that even with all their money they just can’t get it right eh? I mean it can’t be that hard, not when it’s a global brand who espouse their world domination through relentless marketing. There has to be research done, there has to be questions asked, there must be an inquiry I say.

Why is it, that McDonald’s has without doubt the worst ketchup on the planet?

I ate there recently after pints with Mark and it was my first visit in some time (not that I’m not a junk food eater but I’m normally a kebab man), and it was dirt. A salty mess of redness that has never been within 50 yards of a tomato.

In today’s blog I was going to go on a rant about the Premier League trying to fool us all into thinking they have a great product when in fact they only have more exposure and bigger stars than any other league. But then I realised that if McDonald’s have been getting away with their red gunk for decades, that it’s just the way of a global brand to make people believe they’re getting the best for their money.

Forget the ketchup, McDonalds say. We’ve got the Big Mac. Forget the rumours of corruption the Premier League tells us. We’ve got Grand Slam Sunday. Two completely different matters but we (and by ‘we’ I mean football-gorging, can drinking, fast food eating men like those at the OkeydokeFootball ranch) swallow both stories up all the time and accept our lot. Crap ketchup and Boro v Bolton. It’s just the life we’ve chosen.

I feel Mark’s attempt to repel from all this evil (the Premier League, not McDonald’s) yesterday was noble; yes we can all get a little sick of the game but we can’t really step away from it. Much like we should get in a cab after a belly full of pints but instead feel the need to top off that belly with a burger and chips; it’s in our nature. As Mark realised by the end of his rant, there is no escaping it.

However, despite this addiction, it’s never been a problem to do a Grange Hill on it and ‘Just Say No’ to watching Celtic games. Last night’s away day at Milan had little to appeal about it. An AC side virtually through, a Celtic side playing for a draw; even the most blinkered of Hoops fans – with their Celtic cross tattoos on their arms and ironed tracksuit bottoms for court – must have known this would be a stinker.

At 93-minutes I flicked over and saw that despite being one-nil down their fans were celebrating after Shaktar’s surprising home defeat to a fairly average Benfica side. Talk about feeling your decision was justified.

Of more interest tonight will be Arsenal’s visit to Newcastle which has plenty of decent subplots. With Fat Sam struggling to revive his career in the land of brown ale and shirtless supporters, he needs a decent result and who comes to town but a team who can feel justified in claiming to be the best in Europe at present. However, Arsenal are managed by a man whose sides often came up short against Allardyce’s former team Bolton. The Bolton team who played a system that Fat Sam is determined to inflict (and yes inflict is the right word here) on Newcastle.

The Gunners are also a side that still haven’t got more than a point when they travelled north of the midlands this season having drawn at Blackburn and Liverpool. And let’s not forget the injuries to Flamini, Fabregas and Hleb, with the useful Abou Diaby also out; indeed those first three have proven to be match-winners for them on a good few occasions this year already.

It’d be a huge upset if Newcastle do manage to pinch even a point... but feck it anyway, I’ll go for one-all, with at least one side finishing with ten men. Though, at this point I’d like to publicly denounce Fat Sam for not signing Patrick Berger during the summer and giving me a decent sign off joke for this blog.

Fat bastard…
Later, JJ

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Mal said...

I'm with you on the draw prediction. I know that it doesn't really make sense but I was telling a mate in work that I think the Toon will nick a point. Here's hoping.

Mal said...

I'm proud to say that I haven't eaten in McDonalds in years despite the Jervis st outlet being almost beside my apt.

JJ said...

Yeah it's one of those games where there seems to be some odd logic that points towards a draw. Cue four-nil away win.

Some willpower regards McDonalds chief, were I that close any day with a hangover would lead inevitably towards a big mac.

tyduffy said...

I think there is a key facet to this story that is missing.

Do you guys have the European McDonalds where they still use the real fat to make the fries? Or do you have the vegetable oil drivel that we have in the U.S.?

If you have the good fries, I have no sympathy.

I agree about the ketchup, though. I usually opt for the hot mustard from the mcnuggets.

Mal said...

Did you have money on 1-1? I'm annoyed as I was going to lay arsenal but didn't bother. Fairplay to fat Sam though.

JJ said...

Nope, I have a record of not betting on results I actually get right (see Pool 2-2 Spurs).

Thought it was a decent game actually, Diarra and others looked very poor for the Arse though.

Ty - I think McDonalds over here have the veg oil treatment. Added to this, most cinemas in ireland don't even put butter over popcorn these days. Dark times for the fat bastard option.

Mark said...

i'm usually so hungry and/or drunk that i don't care what the ketchup tastes like.

i usually go where the burger is king

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