Friday, 27 February 2009

Weekend predictions…


Alright folks,


Damn you Lawro, damn you… the BBC’s very own nodding monkey (“I agree with you Al”) got five right results last weekend and one perfect score, I only managed five correct results but with no perfect scores. I’ll put it down to him playing safe and indeed to Bolton deciding to play football against West Ham. Who could have seen the latter coming? Anyway, on with some quick predictions for the weekend…


Saturday

Arsenal v Fulham: Okay Arsenal, you always fuck me over when I predict a home win but do I learn my lesson? You’re darned straight I don’t. 1-0.


Chelsea v Wigan: Teams managed by Steve Bruce obviously have some issues. Playing against smaller sides or indeed other middling Premier League foes; his Birmingham team and now the Wigan squad he presides over tend to range from rubbish to barely passable. But put them in against a big team and all of sudden they look like they actually enjoy playing under the fat-headed, wonky-nosed Bruce. They’ll most likely give Chelsea some trouble but eventually, as is generally the case with Chelsea, they’ll nick one towards the end. And then another. 2-0.


Everton v West Brom: Okay, at this stage my enthusiasm is waning (Lawro just shites on to a BBC hack who transcribes the conversation into something resembling English, I have to shite on by myself), so I’ll go for Everton 3-0 because Jo has just bundled his way into my Fantasy League team.


Middlesbrough v Liverpool: What with a win over Real Madrid in midweek and Rick Parry packing up his office over the coming months it’s been a pretty good week for Rafa who had looked dead and buried twice in the last seven days. First after the terrible draw against City and then on Wednesday afternoon when everyone and their dog ‘knew’ he was leaving before the end of the week. They have to win here surely? But then Pool have followed up key wins with weak draws all season. Much like my Arsenal blind spot above though I’ll back them to buck that trend this time out and beat Boro two-one.


Sunday

Aston Villa v Stoke: Jesus fixture-list what are ya doin to me! Stoke did of course win the reverse fixture 3-2 thanks in the main to the Delapidator (surely he should be in the Irish squad what with Glenn Whelan being so god awful… another day, another argument). Okay, I’ll go for a Villa win, but I’ll state now that Martin O’Neill deserves to either (a) fail to get to the Champions League or (b) get knocked out in the preliminary stages by Artmedia Bratislava. All because of the heap of shit side he sent to Moscow last night. Himself and Harry Redknapp are a (adopts Liberties accent) bleedin disgrace so they are.


Bolton v Newcastle: Ah Bolton, my old foe. 1-1.


Hull v Blackburn: Fat Sam better haul his fat ass into gear if he’s going to save Blackburn. Then again they were pretty decent at Old Trafford last week and in another stadium would have had Ronaldo sent off and a penalty (well definitely the first bit, Pedersen over-compensated to put it mildly when pushed over by whichever Brazilian brother was playing full back for United). Hull are on 29 points which is pretty horrific considering their start to the season. They should get a point here; in fact they’ll get three. 2-1.


West Ham v Man City: Could be a decent game this, well it will be if City can actually function outside of the City of Manchester Stadium. If so, they might grab a point against a West Ham team who may have a hangover from their FA Cup exit during the week (no trophies, no relegation… it’s almost like Curbs never left). Eh… 2-2. Come on Premier League, some entertainment would be nice this week.


Carling Cup Final

Man United v Spurs: United to play the youth side; ‘Arry offending most of his side with snide comments and flirting over the England job. Not an easy one to predict, though for once and it hurts to say this, United have somewhat of a moral high ground here. At least they’re treating a competition which deserves contempt (the League Cup) with contempt by playing second string sides the whole way through the tournament. Spurs however have treated a European competition like the fucking under-18s reserve league and built up the Carling Cup to some Holy Grail. One-all after full time and then abandoned due to the trophy being mislaid in a skip somewhere in Peckham. After someone shat in it. Twice.


Anyway, later folks, have a good weekend.

JJ

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you think now with Parry going, Benitez might finally take that slapped-arse expression of his fat fucking face that has been omnipresent for about 2 years? What a miserable spanish twat, he looks bored ALL the time! Maybe he's been watching his own team away in Europe for too long! now there's a cure for insomnia!
LUHG.
p.s. Boro to win 2-0!

JJ said...

Well he seems to be saying the parry situation wasn't a sticking point in his contract though it had the air of the 'I will focus on training and coaching my team' press conference he gave last season after a row with gillet and hicks.

Parry has been sitting on his hands in that role for years, doing as little as possible and trying to remain on everyone's good side. If one thing irritates me about the whole thing it's that he's not gone now. For the chief executive who oversaw the foolish 'dual manager' fiasco before dithering for two years before getting rid of houllier, his obvious appeals to stay in the job until the end of the season smacks of the half measures/lack of brave decisions which have marked his time in the job.

Anonymous said...

Could'nt agree more, if he's going anyway why does'nt he go now? You can't help but feel that Benitez, if not had a hand in Parrys departure, is certainly happy about it and you'd imagine that if he's hanging around for a few more months it's only going to cause more tension. I'm with Ronnie Whelan though, I'm not sure the yanks trust Benitez with money, it was'nt exactly rocket science to buy Torres was it? Mascherano,Alonso and Riera have all been great buys but he has bought some dross! Is it true he's bought 69 players in his time there?? Fucking incredible.
LUHG.

JJ said...

Jeez, hope ya had cash on that scoreline chief. Awful result for pool, just don't have the squad - el zhar, lucas, kuyt. Just not good enough. Big clean out needed in the summer and the way things are looking rafa won't be the man doing that, champo league or no champo league.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say I did'nt have a few pound on the game. I just thought Liverpool would be a bit flat after the Bernabau, I did'nt see the game but I heard they could have scored a couple in the first half hour? If they had got one Boro would have fallen apart. It's an awful result though and I don't think Benitez will ever win the premiership with Liverpool, it looks to me like wholesale changes are needed at that club as you said the squad is nowhere near good enough. Ironically, they'll probably win the Champions League!!
LUHG.

soupnazi said...

How does AndREW Cole get a job as a pundit? Surely if you want a miserable surly git who says nothing and just sits nursing his ego there's someone else cheaper they can get. So AndREW you played with and under Roy Keane as a manager your thoughts? Well Roy Keane is Roy Keane.
Oh thanks for that Andy very illuminating Jesus!

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