Wednesday, 29 August 2007

Bunch of chants

Heya folks,
JJ here

On the back of Mark bringing attention to an absolutely quality Ole Solskjaer chant in yesterday’s blog I decided I’d go and dig for a few more from around the Premiership. And yes, this involves me being lazy and not writing a real blog today, but fuck it there’s a load of cursing and some fairly funny ones below. If ye stay on until the end there’s pure genius from Blackburn and Middlesbrough (yes Middlesbrough, evidently the fans have more style than the team… hoho… right I’ll move on)

To start here’s some poetry from West Ham

‘You cant read you cant write,
you wear golden nikes,
you live in a caravan,
you dirty millwall pikeys’

The classic:
‘The Don, The Don,
He's better than Veron,
Hutchinson, Hutchinson
He’s better than Veron!’

The other classic:
‘You put your right arm up,
the linesmans flag is down,
Paolo sticks it in & the scum are 1
nil down,
they're out the cup,
cos their goalie just fcuked up
and thats what its all about.
OOOOOHHHHH Fabien Barthez
OOOOOHHHHH Fabien Barthez’

From further down the coast there’s Portsmouth efforts like the magic simplicity of:
‘Lets all laugh at derby
lets all laugh at derby
la la la’… which ya can’t argue with really.

This one is popular all over a certain part of England anyway:
‘Down the pub, Friday night, absolutely
plastered, then go home and beat your
wife, dirty northern ba*****s.’

Fulham have some nice words for their neighbours with the genius of:

‘London Bridge is falling down, falling
down, falling down
London Bridge is falling down, fuck
you Chelsea’

And the universally popular (except in Liverpool):
‘You are a scousser, a fuckin scousser.
you re only happy on giro day.
your mums out theivin, your dads drug dealin,
please don't take my hub caps away!’

Speaking of whom, here’s one of the nicer ones to come from The Kop:

‘Rafas Got His Dirk Out,Rafas Got His Dirk Outla la la laaaaaaaaaaaaRafas Got His Dirk Out,Rafas Got His Dirk Outla la la laaaaaaaaaaaa’

Unsurprisingly Wigan have very few chants online but here’s one that is done with such bad English I’ll leave it in its original form for all to see.
‘I asked my mate, the ova dayhad e seen the new pele,so he asked hu cud it be,he goes by the name of Emile Heskey,Emile Heskey, Emile Heskey theunberlivable, Emile Heskey’

Up in Sunderland there’s the genius of:

‘Away in a manger,
No crib for a bed,
The little Lord Jesus,
Lay down and he said:
WE HATE GEORDIES
WE HATE GEORDIES
WE HATE GEORDES.’

And one of my favourites:
‘I would walk 500 miles,
and I would walk 500 more,
Just to see a team
with Kevin Kyle
and all the goals that it would score.’

From Man United I took one of the few non-scouse related chants:

‘Leeds are our feeder club
Leeds are our feeder club
Leeds are our feeder club
Leeds are our feeder club
Jordan, McQueen, Cantona, Smith and
Ferdinand’

If you’re not busy laughing at Derby then you’ll catch this gem from their supporters who evidently aren’t big Forest fans. Again, the original form has been kept… the original, graphic form.

‘In ur nottingham slums
u piss in the showa
and shitt in the bath
u finga ur gran and u think its a laff
in ur nottingham slums’

From Sven City there’s the blindingly obvious and pure class:

‘Hey Micah,
Your so fine,
Scores a goal in added time,
Hey Micah’

Everton fans prove they have a touching sensitivity to their keeper’s medical condition with:

‘Tim timiney Tim timiney Tim Tim teroo
Weve got Tim Howard and he says 'FUCK
YOU!'’

And they go with a tried and tested anthem which goes like this…

‘Rooney is a twat
He wears a magic hat
and when he saw an old slapper he said
I'm 'avin that’

And finally, we have two stormers. Firstly, to the tune of ‘Gold’ by Spandau Ballet the ‘so bad it’s good’ Boro anthem that is…

‘Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
Your indestructable
Always believe it
You are Boa-teng’

What genius, only topped by Blackburn fans and their homage to Stig Inge Bjornbye…

'Bjornbye in my gang, my gang, my gang
Bjornbye in my gang, Oh yea.
Bjornbye in my gang, my gang, my gang
Bjornbye in my gang, Oh yea.
He's Norweigan, He's Norweigan ...'

Have ye got any more? Send them on…

4 comments:

Mark said...

man united, about everybody's favourite player:

Oh do the Gary Neville,
Oh do the Gary Neville,
"You put your elbow in"
"You put your elbow out"
"In, Out, In, Out"
"You Knock A Scouser Out!"
You Do the Gary Neville,
And you kiss the badge,
Thats what it's all about!!

JJ said...

My one where I rhymed 'cunt' with 'cunt' in regards to the neviller never really took off... shame.

Anonymous said...

Think it was Andy Goram or some other Scottish keeper who was diagnosed as schizophrenic leading to the sympathetic chant from his own supporters of "There's only two Andy Gorams"
The chant of "we all live in a Robbie
Fowler house"(tune of yellow submarine)was a response to an article on how wealthy he was and shock that he was actually a shrewd property investor not a smackhead!!

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