Friday, 28 March 2008

Premier League Predictions

My predictions record is shall we say… patchy. But here goes anyway folks, have a good weekend.

Birmingham v Man. City: Oh lordy… Man City’s tendency to play like a bunch of ageing and very frightened cats when away from their home stadium is set to continue here. Birmingham need points, Sven is busy booking holidays for the summer and more transfer steals with all that sweat shop money too. Despite a shite home record I’ll go for a home win, 2-1.
Bolton v Arsenal: So often the scourge of Arsene Wenger I thought earlier in the week that the Arse would slip up here and lose further ground on the top two. On mature reflection, Bolton are pants, Arsenal aren’t. 0-2.
Derby v Fulham: Paul Jewell back to footballing matters at last… pity his team are gonna get a spanking. Ba-dum-tish! 1-3
Portsmouth v Wigan: Routine home win. 2-0
Reading v Blackburn: Blackburn have a bit of confidence back and David Bentley will be well up for this (he better be, he’s in my Fantasy League team). Reading on the other hand have eeked out a few results over the last month or so. Hard to call so move over on that fence Lawro… 1-1
Sunderland v West Ham: Keano v Curbs. Aggression v Slippers and Pipe. Nosworthy v Pantsil. Doesn’t really inspire does it? Anyway what with West Ham in nowhereland until the end of the year and Sunderland needing a win this should be a home win. A dreary one nil home win.
Man. United v Aston Villa: Awful, awful games to watch every year. United will hammer Villa like the dogs they are. 3-0 for a second week in a row at home I’d say.
Chelsea v Middlesbrough: Hmmmm… Boro do have a habit of getting points against the big four but then they usually get them at home and mainly because every player who heads to the Riverside just wants to get out of there as quickly as possible, forgetting defensive duties in the meantime. No joy for Gareth’s barbarian hordes this week though. Home win, 3… no.. 4-1.
Tottenham v Newcastle: I can see a Spurs off day here. They’ll still win though due to Newcastle’s… how should I put this… freakishly shit players. 2-0.
Liverpool v Everton: Wellity, wellity, wellity… Pool in meltdown at the boardroom, Mascherano facing an FA charge and Gerrard in wretched form over the last week. No Cahill for Everton though and Yakubu nor Johnson setting the world alight. I can see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for ‘Pool here and it’s the shape of two goals from Fernando Torres. And one from Babel too maybe. 3-1.

JJ

6 comments:

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johnsull91 said...

lads i need some help!!my fanto footie team has gone down da toilet in recent weeks.i av a tener on da line so i need to win my league against a west ham fan who well he's a west ham fan so i have ta win!!any transfer tips for the next gameweek??

nice podcast by the way,garth crooks-wat a hero!!he truely is the definition of the bbc(borin.bullshitting.cockheads)

m.u.f.c.

johnsull91 said...

lads i need some help!!my fanto footie team has gone down da toilet in recent weeks.i av a tener on da line so i need to win my league against a west ham fan who well he's a west ham fan so i have ta win!!any transfer tips for the next gameweek??

nice podcast by the way,garth crooks-wat a hero!!he truely is the definition of the bbc(borin.bullshitting.cockheads)

m.u.f.c.

Mark said...

sorry john, i'm currently fifth in my league... out of 7... so I'm not help anyway. Get United defenders, but be careful of rotation as champions league is on this week

JJ said...

8 out of ten cats, not a bad ratio considering my previous record.

John, my recommendation is getting in carvalho, who'll play the rest of chelsea's games, torres because pool have a piss easy run in after next week and ronaldo because every other fucker has him and ya can't do without the greasy prat. Then again, I had frank lampard as my captain this week so maybe best to look elsewhere for advice!!

iRich said...

So last night I had a dream in which Chelsea won the league. However, this shitty event was made much more entertaining by the fact that you guys were on the trophy podium acting as Masters of Ceremonies and as John Terry lifted the trophy, you lead the Stanford Bridge faithful in a chant of 'CUNT! CUNT! CUNT!'. Hearing 40,000 people piss him off caused JT to rugby tackle Mark into the goal post.

Rich, Vancouver

PS. As I have no idea what either of you looked like, your roles were played by Ant and Dec. As I have no idea which one is Ant or Dec, I don't know who played who.