Friday, 15 August 2008

Not so hot shots, part deux

Howaya folks,

In addition to Mark’s predictions yesterday here’s mine… podding this evening by the way folks. It begins…

First manager to be sacked: Curbs with a bullet by the end of September, followed soon after by Phil Brown of Hull who slips out the door in a haze of fake tan.

First ‘last second chance’ for Joey Barton: After he attacks Kevin Keegan in training for taking his bib... Sample Special K quote: “We know he’s been through a lot, and yes I have to piss from a straw now, but his heart’s in the right place and considering he can string a few passes together we’ll continue to pay him 70 grand a week.”

First mention of how Steven Gerrard ‘belongs in the middle’: When’s Andy Gray’s first game on Sky??

First signs Mike Phelan is a proper mini me to Lord Rednose: “We were denied four clear penalties, he only played six minutes of injury time and my seat was uncomfortable in the dug out… I mean there has to be something amiss in this league, and Europe, and the World Club Championship was fixed… and is that red wine in your hand?”

First Tabloid 'Sex Shame' Expose: David Moyes decision to make a Fusili Mikel Arteta backfires Seinfeld style as it mysteriously ends up being ‘sat on’ by Phil Neville. ‘Errr… you’re not gonna believe this doc but…eh’ Fusili Mikel’s head is never retrieved.

And now, some more traditional predictions:

1 Chelsea
2 Man United

3 Liverpool

4 Arsenal
5 Spurs
6 Villa
7 Portsmouth
8 Man City
9 Everton
10 West Ham
11 Boro
12 Newcastle
13 Sunderland
14 Fulham
15 Blackburn
16 Bolton
17 Wigan
18 West Brom
19 Hull
20 Stoke

Champions League semis

Standard Liege…. I mean, Inter, Real Madrid (both have to come good sometime in this competition) Man U, Pool

FA Cup

League Cup

Eh… Celtic v Athletico Madrid

Later, JJ,

PS: After shamefully ripping the title from that quality spoof of Charlie Sheen's (so many years before the woeful Two and Half Men) here's a few clips to keep you ticking over.

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