Friday 1 May 2009

Cheap booze, sport on TV, hello weekend

Hey folks,
Well on the back of buying twenty 25cl bottles of ‘premium French lager’ at Superquinn for €10, here’s a quick run through of how I see the Premier League panning out this weekend.

Saturday
Chelsea v Fulham: Finished 2-2 earlier on in the season and considering Chelsea may well rest a raft of stars for their, ahem, all out attacking policy next Wednesday, I can see Fulham getting a 1-1 draw here.
Man City v Blackburn: Fat Sam to be humiliated. Even more so than a normal day. Big style. 4-0.
Middlesbrough v Man Utd: Resting a lot of players, Boro tend to do well against the big sides, all the signs point towards… two-nil United. Watch out for little greaseball Kiko Macheeseball to score one.
Portsmouth v Arsenal: Jesus it’s been a long, long year for Portsmouth. It feels like about ten years ago that they won the FA Cup and a good long while since ‘Arry was ‘appy with his lot down there (“walkin the dogs is just triffic innit”). The threat of relegation seems to be gone so they should be fairly relaxed here against an Arsenal side that, like United and Chelsea, will rest plenty of the first team. Hoping for a decent 3-2 to Pompey.
Stoke v West Ham: God I hate Stoke, please let them be sucked into the relegation vortex. Please. Come on Gianfranco, do it for the game you love. 1-3.
Tottenham v West Brom: Steamroll action from Spurs. The kind of occasion they’re built for and therein lies the reason why, after three or four years of false dawns on the trot, very little will pick them to break into the top four next year. 3-0.
Wigan v Bolton: Eh… here’s a movie trailer to distract you. “I can feel it, comin’ in the air t’night…. Oh lord.” 1-1

Sunday
Liverpool v Newcastle: Much as it would be like Liverpool over the last decade to foul this up I reckon they’ll get a tight win with a few nervy moments. 2-1. Now, everyone together: “Let’s all laugh at Shearer! Let’s all laugh at Shearer! La la la la! Hey!”
Sunderland v Everton: Everton coming a little off the rails as the season comes to an end (they were hugely lucky Ferguson played the under-16s in the FA Cup semi final) so maybe a 1-0 for the home team.

Monday

Aston Villa v Hull: Bye, bye Hull. 2-0.

To end, an old favourite.

Later folks, JJ

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