Wednesday, 29 April 2009

Complex inferiority

Whattup homz(s),

Forget Guus Hiddink’s rhetoric about Chelsea being on a level playing field as Barcelona in the past few weeks. After last night, the one thing anyone with eyes learned is that Chelsea are an inferior side to the Spanish team. They did what inferior sides do.

They did what Spurs did in 2005 against Chelsea at White Hart Lane, “parking the bus in front of the goal” as Jose Mourinho put it. They did what a Liverpool side (who were 33 points behind that same Chelsea side in the league that year) did in the Champions League semi final.

They did what Arsenal, despite what Arsene Wenger would protest, did against Real Madrid in the second leg of their last 16 game in 2006, having come away with a one-nil win at the Bernabéu. Inferior sides sit back, defend, hope for a lucky break, pile on the pressure at set pieces and generally hoof the ball as far away from the penalty box as possible as often as possible. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Most of the time it’s as ugly to look at as this.
Starting with Graeme Souness last night (who seems to be in the first fully blown lovers’ tiff with Eamonn Dunphy) and going on to some Chelski-loving English hacks and inevitably Sky’s entire panel, some fools will have you believe that what Chelsea did last night was simply play the way any away side does in Europe, which frankly is bollocks.

Chelsea’s last two visits to the Nou Camp in the Champions League were characterised by goals, controversy and at least some enterprising play from the away side. That’s what good away sides who consider themselves on a similar level to their opponents do. What Chelsea did last night however, should mean that everyone who actually likes watching football should hope they get thoroughly spanked back at Stamford Bridge next week. It was anti-football. It was puke football. It was fucking rugby.

Watch out for the Sky panel telling us this evening how this shows the Premier League is superior to La Liga. There may be other evidence to show this (Arsenal’s win over Villareal, Pool’s demolition of Real Madrid) but this wasn’t it. If the Premier League is a few shades above the Spanish top tier, why didn’t Chelsea show the world why the English league is better? Why didn’t they take on Barcelona once or twice?

Two of the few things that brightened up the game were the injury to Marquez and the suspension of Puyol. Not because I want Chelsea to win, but just that it gives the Londoners’ no excuse for failing to attack next week and perhaps the may even abandon their novel approach of playing four defensive midfielders, with Hiddink last night asking Lampard and Ballack to curb their attacking instincts and join Kalou sitting in front of John Terry and Alex, while also playing ‘right winger’ Michael Essien as almost a second right back.

Good luck to Chelsea but one other bright spot was that when you look through the team sheet at least there’s promise that this side don’t have too many years left in them. Besides for their trip to Anfield a few weeks back (which looks more and more like a complete fluke) it’s been years since Chelsea played any kind of decent football at the highest level, and players like Lampard, Terry, Carvalho, Drogba and Ballack will either move on or get worse at playing such shite against decent teams. Let’s hope for an early Barcelona goal next week and that it will also be the last time we see Hiddink’s side in Europe this season.

Then there’s tonight, and frankly I haven’t a notion what way this will go. There will be goals though so just for the sake of it, I’m putting a fiver on 2-2 (14/1) and hopefully we get a game that will erase nearly every memory of last night’s putrid shite from the team who were, quite aptly, in yellow*.

Later folks, JJ
*Apologies for the lame joke, couldn’t quite get down off that particularly high horse… this is funnier though.


paugrande said...

Chelsea were dreadful last night. Messi was poor and anonymous in the second half. Hope Barca continue to try and play football in the second leg and make JT cry.

As for tonights game. Would love to see Fergie go with Tevez, Rooney, Ronaldo and Berbatov up front as lets be honest, any team with Mickey Silvester in it will leak goals. He won't though and will probably put out one of his now traditional 'crazy what the fuck are you thinking' teams that he tends to field in Europe. At least the football should be good. Go on Utd!

Anonymous said...

Had to work last night and missed the game but by all accounts (including yours) it was fucking dreadful! What happened beetween Souness and Dunphy by the way?
I'm not convinced it's as good a result as the papers are making out- this Barcelona team are capable of getting at least a couple next week especially if Chelski come out of their own half!
As for tonight, I'd take United to win 2-1 and Arsenal to win 2-1 next week and it'll go all the way to pens, with Berbatov scoring the winning penalty.(It could happen!)
p.s.Do you honestly believe the way Chelsea outplayed, out thought and outfought the Pool 3 weeks ago was a fluke?? They could have score 5 or 6 for fucks sake!

JJ said...

Dunphy was blabbing on about the beautiful game on minute, then Barcelona being shown up as not being good enough the next, followed by a few back handed compliments to Chelsea and a whole variety of opinions on whether Xavi, Iniesta etc were world class or not. Essentially he waited on Bill’s questions, disagreed with him, then after any words from Giles pretended to disagree before backtracking again and again. He did the same with Souness only with a little more uppity glee and the most tanned man in Scotland seemed a little irked, then guffawed at nearly every Eamo said, which in fairness is what most of the country did.

As for Chelsea v Pool, yep that performance has all the hallmarks – judging on all the evidence this season – of a fluke, catching Pool on an off-day and in fairness Pool could have scored three more that night between Torres and Kuyt. Chelsea were awful in any big game up to that point (losing to Pool twice, United and Arsenal once each), they wilted in the first half at Stamford Bridge only to come alive for 15 minutes after Drogba’s goal. The game at Anfield reminded me of Chelsea in the first 8 or 9 months under Mourinho, there hasn’t been one reminder (aside from the 15 minutes mentioned) of that form since and last night was the time to show it. They failed. Big time.

If that was the ‘real’ Chelsea a few weeks back, why not play the same system last night instead of lumping all his midfield behind the ball and playing Essien away from the middle?

Anonymous said...

I see your point about the Liverpool-Chelsea game, it seems that Liverpools back four and defensively in midfield had an off day and even at the time I was thinking that I had'nt seen Chelsea play that well for about two years! It seems though that Liverpool carried this form into the return at Stamford Bridge and the Arsenal game at Anfield. But in fairness,in the three games I've mentioned they scored 9 goals and as you rightly said could've scored a lot more.
As for Dunphy, is it just me or is he displaying all the symptoms of early Alzheimers disease? He can't seem to decide what his opinion is from one minute to the next, who he agrees or disagrees with. Did he per chance mention what great players Giles and Souness were? and the great teams they played in?? Fucking arse licking cunt!
Jesus I can't wait for their usual 25 minute rant about Ronaldo tonight and blaming him for everything that's wrong with the modern game. Gilesy, what the fuck is moral courage anyway? you bitter old bastard!
p.s.Welcome back, What happened? Did the authorities finally catch up with you?!!

Buckley said...

Well Chelsea are inferior, its a simple fact, no matter what Hiddink or anyone in the British press tells you. We all surely knew this before going into the game? So why seem surprised by Chelsea's tactics? United done the same last season pretty much, Liverpool too when we beat them two seasons ago. Drogba's chance goes in and Chelsea come away with a very similar result. Job done.

What pissed me off was Hiddink quote "Two sides who like to attack", what was that all about, mind games? Drivel.

Was the same on the RTE panel then. Had that of been Liverpool Dunphy would have let rip about how Rafa is the scourge of football. Giles too who have had a dig, without having a dig.

Barca's problem is that they can't mix it up when its not working. Zero temp to their play, too easy to contain. Maybe allow Chelsea have the ball for a spell and hope that opens up a bit of space.

Its not a great result for Chelsea either, unless they grab a lucky opener as United did last season and park the bus again, Barca should at least create a few openings.

Buckley said...

And maybe i heard this wrong, but after the game didn't Souness start out by saying Chelsea won't do anything different in the second leg, wouldn't be more adventurous, but by the end of it seemed to say the complete fucking opposite.

Buckley said...

Oh and i thought i should give a little mention to Ryan Giggs. I felt embarrassed for the fucker picking up that ward. He's not even in the top five United players this season let alone the Premiership. Absolute fucking joke.

JJ said...

That's a lot to get off your chest there Buckley. Agree on the souness/giggs points anyway, my reason for surprise on the chelsea performance was Hiddink's comments which in different circumstances would have had him up in front of the RTE Commission (yes there is such a thing despite evidence to the contrary) facing complaints over false advertising.

It reminded me of the brutal Russian performance in the Euros against Spain when he hyped up the possibility of a great game as well.

Unfortunately Barca couldn't do what spain did and kill off the non-playing opponents. Hopefully they will next week though.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Buckley, the more Paul Scholes practices those 25 yarders into the top corner, the luckier he gets!!!
Sorry to ask again, but was Dunphy actually defending the way Chelsea approached the game last night or having a go at Barca cos the could'nt break them down?

Buckley said...

Maybe should have said a goal from nothing, undeserved if you will..

Anyway, United going to be putting their entire team out to mark Fabregas tonight, he's just that good.

Anonymous said...

Did'nt look too fuckin hot tonight mate. Arsenal are lucky to get away with the one nil, I think united may pay for not finishing it tonight. Although if all they have to contend with next week is Adebayor they'll be ok, he was awful. I was sure Arsenal would open United up a few times and look to threaten throughout the game but they created absolutely nothing all night! If United get the first goal at the Emirates the tie is over, it should be over now!
p.s. Ferdinand is some fucking dud!

Mark said...

united back to their best, at last. can see them getting a draw next week to go thru

Paugrande said...

Dunno if i heard correctly, but was there some mention on the RTE commentary of one of the Arsenal team being 'double-teamed' by two Utd midfielders. Or is that just my smutfilled mind?

Buckley said...

Really poor match last night. Arsenal never showed up, and looked totally clueless on the counter, and why was Nasri playing as a holding mid-fielder?? Bizarre move from the inventor of modern football.

Loving that Baconface is doing his damnedest to force the brilliant Tevez out of the club. Showed again just how much better a side they are with him starting.

Anonymous said...

Did you really think the game was poor,or just the result???