Friday, 22 June 2007

As the Fresh Prince once said... Tick, tick, tick, tick, BOOOOOOM

JJ here

Well now that Thaksin Shinawatra is set to take over at Man City, the team may be a little anxious when getting on the team bus. You see, wherever Thaksin goes, things being blown to shit will follow (as my image of the City of Manchester Stadium circa 2010 shows).
Want some proof, well here's some info on two of the (apparently hundreds) of attempts on his life.

March 2001 aeroplane bomb
On 3 March 2001, a semtex/white phosphorus bomb exploded on a Thai Airways International 737 jet minutes before new Thaksin was scheduled to board. The explosion caused a firestorm which consumed nearly the entire airplane on the ground, killing one member of airline staff.

At the time of the blast, Thaksin was walking with about 150 other passengers toward the plane at the start of a trip to attend a narcotics conference in Chiang Mai. Officials initially tried to attribute the explosion to a spontaneous explosion in the gas tank of
the plane (great excuse, bet they couldn’t wait to get the next flight), but most observers saw it as an attempt to assassinate Thaksin. Ya think?

August 2006 car bomb
On 24 August 2006, a car containing 67 kilograms of explosives was stopped near Thaksin's residence in Thonburi. Metropolitan Police Bureau Commissioner Lt-General Wiroj Jantharangsee noted that the explosives in the car were completely assembled, equipped with a remote unit sensor and ready to be detonated, and would have a blast radius of around one kilometre.

Pol Major Kamthorn Ooycharoen, head of the police bomb-disposal squad at the scene, also noted that the bomb was live and ready for detonation. The bomb was composed of sticks TNT, M-8 military fuses, TNT, C4 plastic explosives, a remote control unit, and nine plastic containers containing ammonium nitrate fuel oil (all of which sounds like something from Die Hard… on a side note I can’t wait for that fourth movie to come out. Utter rubbish, but I’m there… anyway back to this slimy bastard Thaksin)

The car was driven by Lieutenant Thawatchai Klinchana, former personal chauffeur of Pallop Pinmanee, Deputy Director of Internal Security Operations Command (ISOC). Police found that the car had left ISOC headquarters earlier that morning. Thawatchai was immediately arrested and Pallop was released from his position.

Pallop denied all involvement, noting (quite brilliantly) that "If had wanted to do it, I
would have done it more subtly...In my career, I have lead death squads. If I had wanted to kill him, the Prime Minister would not have escaped."
He also claimed that "the explosives were being transported; they were not assembled to be detonated". Government critics claimed that the car bomb was a government conspiracy. Five army officers were later arrested for their role in the plot. Three officers, including Thawatchai, were released after the military overthrew the Thaksin government.

Alrighty then…. “I have lead death squads”, now there’s a conversation opener at a dinner party. All in all, this guy is bad news but as the Guardian report today “The timing of yesterday's announcement, that Manchester City's ‘custodians’ are to sell the club to Thaksin Shinawatra and bank millions of pounds of his money on the same day he was charged with criminal corruption in his home country, served to underline Thaksin's advisers' view all along: the fans won't protest.”

I predict that Thaksin and, most likely, Sven will turn City into the English version of Hearts, with an insane chairman trying to run every facet of the club – it will be entertaining and I suppose after the rubbish that City served up last season, I’d prefer a despot and a sex addict in charge to the previous board and manager.

Thaksin also once managed a Burger King which may come in handy as, like City fans, no matter what shite his old customers were served they’d come back for more.
Let the games begin.

PS: Another safety message for Man City - look out for suspicious objects in the directors’ box as well next year lads. Then again that may just be one of the cuddly toys that Stuart Pearce left behind. Bless him.


New Podcast up today! Ever wondered what happened to Paul McGregor? Did Mark really see Jody Morris puking? Is ‘AOB’ a shambles? All these questions and so much more answered at:


Mark V said...

he can't be any worse than Gillet and Hicks...

seriously though, it could be good fun next season alright with the sex crazed man in charge and an eveil dictator controlling policy, bring it on.

peter said...

The comments made must have been by two deranged farang who have been in the Thai sun for their brains and comments they make. Please go and take your tablets.

JJ said...

Peter you're talking crazy talk. We were elected to our positions to lead not to read.