Thursday, 25 October 2007

Ugly, Ugly Football. Lovely, Lovely Halle

There really are times in life when you’ve just gotta sit back and admire Halle Berry. Because Halle, along with the other beautiful women of this world, would keep ya going through the bad times. A decent pint of Guinness, a juicy steak, a fry up or finding twenty quid on the ground help as well. All of these wonderful things could be the elements that make up a perfect day and then… you watch Liverpool. Whether you like it or not, that’s your day buggered up.

In the style stakes they’re not Arsenal and they’re not Man United. They’re certainly not Barcelona, but they may be a more expensively assembled Rangers. My melodramatic housemate said yesterday that if Liverpool beat Arsenal on Sunday he’ll give up watching football for a month, such would be the evil of this result. Now, while this is bollocks – he threatened to give up drinking once but that lasted oh… two days – I can kinda see where he’s coming from.

Of Arsenal’s seven the other night, they scored two goals ( & which, in terms of teamwork, were comparable to Carlos Alberto’s 1970 World Cup final effort (

Okay the stakes were hardly as high, ala the argument over Messi’s Getafe dribble versus Maradona’s 1986 effort (, but they still played beautiful stuff and have won 12 games on the trot which is, to put it mildly, fucking incredible.

Man United looked immense as well in Kiev (politically correct big paper spellings don’t exist at Okeydokefootball). When you consider who was out on Tuesday the only problem Ferguson will have this year is who to pick when everyone is fit. Though, then again, this is United so everyone will never be fit at the same time.

Liverpool can win a game with a few dodgy decisions against Everton, grind out away points at Wigan and beat Villa away too – but all of these have required late goals and crucial missed opportunities by the opposition. Besiktas scored when they got the chances, and many more teams will do this to Liverpool as the season wears on.

They will win nothing this year with the present hit and hope method – Monster Mash simply doesn’t have the range of passing to work with Gerrard who is consistently 20 yards ahead of him. Alonso, even when he is back, will have to pick up his form dramatically after a poor 12 months. Meanwhile Babel is not been given enough of a chance and poor old Crouchigol is being ignored to a criminal extent. As for Sami, I can’t stay mad at you chief, but you’re no longer up to a long run of games and I’m hoping Agger is fit at last for Sunday. Overall, decent players are being held back by Rafa's tactical obsession with the opposition.

At this stage, I’m not sure I care if they go through to the knock out phase of the Champions League. If last night’s game is how they will play for the foreseeable future then it will be a penance to watch them grind away with the patently unworkable partnership of Voronin and Kuyt up front. Liverpool fans currently feel like apologising to other supporters every time the team is on TV instead of some decent football. These are indeed, depressing, confusing times. Thank god for Halle.


Elsewhere, it looks as if AC Milan are doing a better impression of Liverpool than Liverpool themselves by playing pants in the league but well in Europe. Madrid continue to win and Celtic continue to be as big an enemy to football as their Glasgow rivals. Actually that’s unfair, considering Rangers’ result against Lyon the other week, Celtic now find themselves thoroughly second best in that little, and quite boring, local scrap.

Great win for Rosenborg too and Chelsea are beginning to look dangerous. Man City will be a good test for Grant’s men when they meet at the weekend.

Showmen always say to go out on a high… so here’s my effort:

Later folks, JJ


Anonymous said...

I thought it was liverpool's year.I must be getting 2007/08 mixed up with 1995/96 When,by coincidence they won fuck all either!But,in fairness,a midfield muppet in one J.Redknapp and a goalkeeper who flapped more than excited seagull were ready made excuses for abject failure then.The question is,What will they blame now? If Gerrard is the world class player he obviously thinks he is,he'd want to start showing it or the "super reds" are fucked.HA HA!!!(LUHG)

Anonymous said...

Just watched your youtube link JJ,You're a fuckin genius!The Podcast is the best thing you can download.Congrats to you and Mark and please keep it up.It's an essential part of the week,Even though my workmates think I'm fuckin nuts cos I laugh to myself a lot on Friday mornings,it's worth the sacrifce though.A fan,Waterford.

Mark V said...

1st point - contentious, i know, but Halle is over rated

2nd point - I'm not a liverpool fan but it's still torture watching them. on current form it's hard to see them winning anything this season and it has to go down to the manager who has bought poorly before this summer, and didn't buy a reserve centre back this year.

gerrard needs a right kick up the hole for his performances, but he still managed to get a goal alst night. why not get him out of muidfield and upfront or right wing - out of the way...

Mark V said...

Thanks Anon, always nice to get complimented...

JJ said...

Yeah cheers anon, much appreciated. Drumming gorillas should always be brought to a wider audience I say.

Anonymous said...

Now Jol! Who'd've thought Mourhino then Jol soon Benitez all queueing up for Stan's leftovers!

JJ said...

Yup, fat boy rafa will be under serious pressure if he doesn't beat arsenal. His own fault though, unlike Jol who got shafted by his chairman after two games and was in an impossible predicament since then. That levy gobshite better get in someone decent or the fans will call for his head pretty damn soon.

tyduffy said...

I have to dispute the Halle thing as well. Even with prego-tits she's still overrated.

She's one of the famous women that all women think is gorgeous and guys scratch their heads.

It could be a generation gap. But, I honestly can't remember a movie where she has been attractive in the last 12-13 years where I have been old enough to have paid attention to such things.

Although, it could be the thought of an on screen hook-up with her and Billy Bob Thornton (shudder) that is tainting my image.

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