Friday, 9 May 2008

Final weekend predictions

Okeydoke folks, here’s a rundown of my final and, in all probability, most hilariously off cue predictions of the season. The last day tends to throw up one or two surprises due to (a) some teams actually fighting for something, and (b) some teams not giving two shits what happen to them.

We can only hope that Harry Redknapp doesn’t do a Stuart Pearce and put David James up front for the last twenty minutes. For those reading this in England, yup, that’s the guy who Fabio Capello has in his coaching staff. The future’s bright… for other countries.


Everton v Newcastle: Inevitable one nil win for Everton… well it would have been two months ago. Now I heartily predict a whopping 1-3 for Keggy’s Newcastle. A surly end to a surly season for surly Moyes.

Middlesbrough v Manchester City: Meh… Sven goes out on a high 3-3.

Birmingham v Blackburn: I think Birmingham might collapse against a Blackburn side enjoying their football this season. I most likely predicted otherwise during the pod but such about turns are my trademark, ala Monty Burns. 1-2

Chelsea v Bolton: 3-0.

Wigan Athletic v Man Utd: Hmmm…. Let me think about that.

Portsmouth v Fulham: Pompey home win, probably with a late goal to ‘break hearts’. Cue excited Sky cameraman picking out every gimpy over-emotional Fulham fan in tears. 1-0.

Sunderland v Arsenal: Home win for Sunderland to end a relatively decent second half of the season after an actually horrendous first half of the season. 2-1

Tottenham v Liverpool: 2-2 repeat of the first encounter, could be match of the day in some respects.

West Ham Utd v Aston Villa: I think West Aaaaaaam might just string a performance here… oh wait Curbs is still the manager, so that’ll be an away win. 1-2 and Curbs gone by July.

Derby County v Reading: The big one. For absolutely no one except reading fans. What happened to their decent football of last year? They’ll struggle through and by my calculations stay up. 0-2.

So yeah, Wigan v Man U… I hate facing reality but it must be done at some stage and I picked them all season to win the league. Hard fought first half, a goal will break Wigan’s spirit and hey presto, 4-1 by the finish. Bastards.

Later, JJ


Mark said...

you're a bitter man, JJ....

Anonymous said...

are we going to see both predicted leagues versus the way it panned out next week? We'll need a laugh after watching ronaldo preening and fergie attempting to lift elbows above chest height. Aaaaggggghhh!

JJ said...

Those tables have been lost in the annals of time... scholars maintain their meaning were lost long ago.

Anonymous said...

Wish I could agree with you JJ,you bitter fucker! But I can't shake the thought that things are about to go tits-up big style for United. I think Wigan will get a point,Bolton Won't(!) and Moscow will just prolong the agony even further.
Fuck it,there's more important things in life to worry about,is'nt there???
p.s.Well done on easily the best podcast out there,football or otherwise.Please,please keep up the good work,lots of love(!!!!).LUHG.xxxxxx.

Darren said...

FUCK ME!!! Hows about an award for the Pundit who has let himself go. Stand up Lawro. Just watching MOTD for the first time in an age and cannot believe his appearence. He looks like he is about to embark on an Alan Partridgesque barefoot drive to Dundee, armed with a cache of toblerones. Lawro, get help. Dear dear. poor tithead.